If we weren’t in quarantine, this shift into adulthood might have been more dramatic; I would’ve been shopping for my dorm, leaving to Santa Cruz in the Fall, planning how I would commute to work, but just like most of your plans, mine have changed. Maybe for the better?. . .
The OG Course of Action
School: Since I knew what college was, I wanted to go. During my high school career, I established that I wanted to study psychology and business. I came across UC Santa Cruz during the college application window, which seemed to fit my ideals as an environmentalist, a vegan, and an advocate for justice and freedom. It’s only a couple of hours from home and the initial financial aid offer was pretty good! So, I applied, and was accepted.
Work: Even before quarantine, I knew I needed a job, at least for the summer. I figured I would apply to fast food restaurants and warehouses in the area until I moved onto campus and could work there. I applied to places endlessly, but didn’t have any luck.
Blog, Podcast, Music: My entire life has heavily revolved around my education, around school. Yes, many other things interest me and matter to me, but time and time again I have placed my education above most of those things. I started blogging my freshman year, I’ve loved singing since elementary, and I’ve been dabbling with the idea of a podcast for the last year, however, the amount of time and effort I put into their development has been shallow. I call these my “projects” because they’re more than hobbies. I am building a brand for myself and expressing myself with these outlets is a huge part of my identity; I never quit them, but I never was able to truly invest the proper time into them.
School was the reason I woke up at 5:30 and went to sleep around 1 a.m. It was the reason I barely had time for anyone or anything else. School was the cause of many of my breakdowns. Even when I had free time, I was drained of all of my energy and was far from a creative state of mind, but rather one of survival and utter fatigue.
Mental and Physical Health: I always had plans of working out again and meal prepping, making more of an effort to take care of myself overall. I never had much of a plan past that. I never felt like I had the energy or time to put into my health. As long as I ate enough to make it through the day, I felt I had done my part. But some days I ate too much and felt so full, yet so empty. I wasn’t feeding my body anything of nutritional value for quite some time and it took a toll on me. Some days I prioritized everything but eating, often feeling light-headed and weak.
I kept telling myself to just hold on until Summer when I would have more time to focus on myself and my needs. This should have never been the case; your health is not something you should set aside and put on hold for long intervals because you’re busy . . . let it always be your number one priority.
The Quarantine Scheme
School: I will still be attending UC Santa Cruz this fall, just virtually for now. In fact, in the coming weeks I will start picking my classes. I’m a little nervous because I struggled with a couple of classes when we had to finish our senior year online. My math grade dipped to a C+, and even that was with some extra credit points the professor handed us. I hope I can handle this upcoming year a little better.
Fingers crossed and prayers sent to God that I get to carry out my junior year of university on campus – I am technically going in with sophomore status because I graduated from high school with my AA. The plan now is to get my degree in Community Studies psychology, get a better understanding about running a business through some business management courses, and be out in no more than four years.
Blog, Podcast, Music: I was devastated having had to miss prom and graduation. . . but only briefly. I soon realized those were just privileges and American high school rituals that really didn’t mean much to me. I saved a lot of money missing those events and instead was able to invest in my projects! I was generously gifted money after graduating. I am going to buy a new laptop that can handle my podcast, blog, music, school endeavors and work.
Because I had all of this free time in quarantine, I released my first EP in just two months. I’ve gotten to meet so many local allies online who have helped me grow as an artist and person overall. I just moved my podcast over to a new platform and recorded a couple of episodes. With my new laptop, I can finish editing them and begin releasing them.
If you are healthy and have as much time on your hands as I do, take advantage! I am pushing myself to really work and evolve now that I’ve obtained the time and resources to do so and it feels AmAzInG.
Work: I was volunteering with a nonprofit called Changeist during my senior year and it felt so good to be working one-on-one with the youth in my area, seeing the drive and ideas they had for improving the conditions of the world, socially and environmentally. Shoot, they motivated me! In the midst of looking for a job after graduating high school, I got an email from Changeist informing me of the open positions they had for Americorps members (who design the service year for the youth). I was hesitant at first because at this time I wasn’t sure if I would still be able to physically go to Santa Cruz, and commuting without a car seemed to be an unnecessary hassle when I could just work on campus. After I lost hope in being able to move, I jumped at the opportunity.
I did not want to work in the fast food industry or a warehouse if I had other options and if I’m dedicating 45 hours a week to something, I’d rather it be to making a positive change in my community. So as of right now, I am scheduled to begin my service year with them in August – 80% of which is expected to be virtual. I am very excited and blessed that my first real job is one I’m passionate about.
Mental and Physical Health: Summer came and I realized I no longer had excuses. I had the time. I had the energy. My diet and workout routine are still very flawed right now, though. I love salt, I like sweets, and I have an addiction to coffee. However, I am making big changes.
I began walking a few times a week, sometimes a couple miles in a day. Some mornings I do yoga to release the tension in my bones and muscles instead of just complaining about the pain. I also began casually logging what I eat, how much water I drink, and if I did any exercise that way. It is not very detailed or precise, but it helps me to ensure I eat enough each day, take my vitamins, drink water, and make an effort to be active.
I’ve also been heavily practicing gratitude – when I find myself complaining, I stop and find various reasons to be thankful. In this, I have come to realize that my life is full of blessings; I just needed to take the time to acknowledge and appreciate them. It feels wonderful and I would advise everyone to give it a try.
Though these additions have been beneficial, I want to do more. I want to really start working out, for one. I used to be a fast and competitive runner, I loved sports, and I loved pushing myself. Over the years, I found myself getting light-headed and winded too quickly. My diet isn’t adequate enough to support high-intensity workouts and I just feel weak overall. I want to figure out how to not only regain the motivation, but the stamina to begin building myself for the better.
I’ve been working to establish good relationships with my family and friends, I’m feeding into my passions, and I’m recognizing my blessings. My mental health is good and I hope my physical health is not far behind.
A Blessing in Disguise
This virus has been a very frightening curse. It seems so unreal, but at the same time, it is all too real. People I know personally have lost loved ones or are sick. The world was so heavily panicked at first and now many are acting as though they’re invincible – standing shoulder-to-shoulder at shopping malls and refusing to wear masks. It is not a matter I take lightly, but I cannot spend each day in a depressive daze because of it.
In so many ways, this pandemic has been a blessing in disguise. In addition to everything I listed above, I also get to be in town for my little sister’s birth! I guess virtual college has its perks. I am worried about her remaining healthy, though, and every time a family member of mine leaves the house, I fear for their lives because of this tragic duo of corrupt cops and COVID. I truly hope that all of you reading this now are doing okay, and if there is anything I can do for you, please reach out.
I hope you are all trying to aid the BLM cause from home, too. Though it may not be trending, it is still critical to punishing the life-threatening racists and bigots. Thank you for reading, and with that being said, I hope you’re prioritizing your health, looking out for your loved ones, and trying to recognize your blessings.
I’m struggling to find new topics to write about, so please comment or contact me with your requests! Share this post and any others if you found them helpful in any way.
Coffee, No Cow. 
Your thoughts on protests and BLM
How was the process of your first music project?
Thas all I got haha
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Thank you for the ideas! ❤️
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