I haven’t been as vocal about the state of the world as many might’ve expected me to be or as I would’ve expected of myself. To be transparent, I despise politics and spent a lot of time avoiding anything remotely related to them. I did so until the day I read something along the lines of:
You can’t escape politics because they affect every aspect of our lives.
There’s nothing to debate in that statement. We live according to the government’s laws and policies and they shape our way of life, how we move, how we’re perceived, how we’re treated. Take a look at the world right now. You can try running from politics, but then you’re running from reform and having your voice heard. It is against my nature to run from such things.
I am Black and I support the Black Lives Matter movement without hesitation, but I am disappointed in how hesitant I was to see this as more than a political issue. When you open your social media apps or turn on the t.v., you’re going to hear a lot about polices, laws, reform, government, etc. You’re going to hear a lot of words that scream politics and for a lot of people like myself, it can be intimidating. I got an ‘A’ in Government but surely wasn’t enthused while doing so; politics piss me off. However, this is a social problem. This is a matter of life and death and it is far beyond being just a political matter.
A while back, I also came across a few sources that brought to light that if the way things are bother me so much, I should put myself in a position of power to change them – we all should. Maybe my position of power isn’t intended to be a congress woman or the next POTUS, but I know that despite my title, I am a powerhouse:
I have a platform, privileges, and passion. Sure I’ve shared a lot of posts on social media, but how much does that really do? I am not doing my people much justice. I am not really contributing to the cause and I’m tired of convincing myself that I am. I encourage and will continue to share posts because we are sharing valuable information to educate one another, aid protesters, circulate petitions, etc. But as a Black person who is this upset about what is happening to my people, as a Latina watching babies be separated and literally caged, as a Native American who watched the Pipeline and police desecrate their land and people, as a woman who watched other women be called liars after coming forward about their sexual assault experiences. . . I should be doing and saying more to help my people, the oppressed portions of the human race.
For a while, this all seemed too out of reach to seem real. How could we have gone from quarantining over COVID to protesting over basic human rights and justice within the span of a couple of months. On top of trying to organize the details of my own life – beginning my first year of college and work, being unsure of where I’ll be living come Fall, personal relationships, etc. – I couldn’t really grasp what was going on.
One day I stopped avoiding the news and I watched as the world literally burned. People are being beaten, killed, harassed, and taunted by the very force that swore to protect and serve us. I have family and friends of various backgrounds fighting this fight, strangers demanding justice for their neighbors, people of every background putting their lives at risk to defend ours. It is always a beautiful thing to watch the world come together, but why does it have to be like this?
Well, it has finally hit me. I’m sick to my stomach, I’m out of motivational words, I feel like a spam bot that’s just reposting and liking anything to do with #BLM. People are DYING. We are so desensitized now that this doesn’t affect us like it should. I didn’t cry at first. I felt pain and disgust that innocent lives were taken or that brown people were being abused, mutilated, and humiliated, but I didn’t cry, I didn’t panic. Not for a few weeks. I was bothered and I tried coping by becoming that previously mentioned spam bot and I told myself, “If I post about it, I’m doing something about it.” And there is some truth behind that but after a while, you’re just recycling information and graphics to the same handful of people and you realize your thumbs have done more work than your brain or your heart.
I cry now. I’ve seen things online that no one should ever have to see, things no one SHOULD EVER have had to go through. I took African American, Asian American, and Women’s History classes. I thought the worst was behind us. . . now I see they just rebranded everything. Slavery became prison, Jim Crow laws became social norms, and so on.
I don’t have to regurgitate the same message. Black America isn’t in an uproar for the hell of it. We are being slaughtered, we are being picked off, we are losing our lives or the chance to live a full one because we’re being shot or locked up for any old thing – a fake $20 bill, selling cigarettes, false accusations, police breaking into our homes and shooting without probable cause, being seen as a threat even as unarmed children. We’re tired of having to fight to live, but that has never been an excuse to rest.
As much as I want to protest, my parents feel it’s too dangerous. I agree, but after that flip switched in me, I kind of didn’t care. I’m itching to scream and cry and march for this. As an alternative, however, I’m going to become the voice I’ve always wanted to be. I am going to seriously educate myself and stop running away from politics because I’m avoiding the possession of so much power in doing so. With that knowledge, I want to really build my magazine with valuable information, interviews, and resources, I want to continue to share my opinions and feelings on this blog, and I’d like to attach a podcast to the BCF Blog so that I can take posts like these and clarify and expand on them, add to them.
I’ll just end off by saying thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. To those who are on the streets protesting, to those who have taken a physical, mental, and emotional beating fighting for this cause, thank you for being human and for recognizing Black lives as lives, too. Thank you for hearing us, supporting us, and fighting alongside us in a struggle we should have never had to fight in. We’re protesting to live and they’re still picking us off like flies. I want to do more. I want to better support my people. Thank you to those that are even just sharing information and circulating support virtually because that is critical right now, but if you have the ability to donate time, money, or resources, let’s take the initiative to do so. Let’s truly educate ourselves and be a part of this movement.
“All lives don’t matter until Black lives do.”
Coffee, No Cow. 