You can Tell me Why but It’s still A lie – psychological matters.

I am currently invested in Nicholas Epley’s Mindwise.
I am not entirely sure how to explain the way his insight arouses the purest of thought processes, but maybe one would get a glimpse if I said as I read I become afraid, as I learn I feel stupidity manifest as well as diminish.
By the title of this piece, You can Tell me Why but It’s still A lie, your mind is probably itching with questions. Allow me to explain it.
Mindwise is literature focused on psychological means. The author himself is a social psychologist and university professor. The very front cover makes way for a clear explanation of the book’s purpose: “Why we misunderstand what others think, believe, feel, and want.
But here was the one thing you would not have known about the book had you not read the preface: not only does the book explain why we misunderstand others, but it also points out how commonly we misinterpret our own intentions and actions.
This alone is the whole reason I grabbed my computer today and began this piece.
Did you know much of our explanations as to why we do the things we do are mere guesses? Yes. Much of the time we don’t even know why we do what we do, but because we can feel ourselves thinking, we believe all of our actions and explanations are justifiable by common sense and reason.
Epley says, “…we can feel ourselves thinking through important decisions that lead to an important choice but we are again guessing when we try to explain why we chose option A rather than B. Introspection is blind to construction.”
Now, I thought this alone was interesting enough to intrigue a single mind for a lifetime, but then I continued reading and Epley said, “We can report loving our spouse but we are guessing when explaining why.”
For some reason, I didn’t ever think of questioning his word, because it just seems so true. Think about it…
Try to explain to yourself why you love your spouse. Let me guess what a few of your reasons are: they’re funny, they’re attractive, they’re there when you need them, you’ve known each other for years, they’re your best friend, and you tell each other everything, things you’d never tell another soul.
I’m able to determine some of your responses because there are many couples that give these exact responses when asked to expand on their love for their partner. If so many people have the same traits as your spouse, then what’s REALLY the reason that you love your spouse over another? Guess; that’s all we can do.
Epley then proceeds to explain something along the lines of “the law of attraction” when he says one of the most justifiable reasons we are attracted to models and certain people, in general, is due to their bilateral symmetry. Don’t forget many models are thrown into the processing machine called Photoshop before the work they are featured on is released to the public, so of course, symmetry is a given (when done correctly). But, we mustn’t forget the logic behind relationships, biologically that is. Organisms that reproduce sexually are on the search for a suitable partner to mate with. So, by instinct, many of us are attracted to women with wide birthing hips and symmetrical features, or men with a fit build and symmetrical features. This is what most of the world finds as “attractive”.
These were just a few points I could not fully grasp and so I thought it would be a cool idea to share my findings with those who bother to read my posts.
Really consider these facts and try to understand them to the best of your ability. Think about what it is that really caused the sparks between you and your spouse. If you are truly stumped and have come to terms with the fact that all your explanations are guesses, then take matters into your own hands. Dig a little deeper into this concept and research this for yourself. We know we love these people, but why?…..
If you have any comments on this I urge you to leave them in the comment section below. If you have any additional information on this psychological matter then please share it below. If you want further information on the book I’m reading, the author of the book, or on any of the concepts I’ve addressed today, then please feel free to abandon them below and I will foster them and allow evolution to turn questions into answers.
All of the images used in this post are the property of another. I do not claim ownership for anything other than my written work.

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