Dear Future Self…

dearfutureself

Dear Future Self,

I hope you’re still in school or still writing…please still be writing. Your changes in career choice have accumulated into an immensely heavy load; I hope you don’t have too much weight on your shoulders. Right now, writing this, you’re 15. Nothing’s going as planned and life only gets harder with the occasional rainbow after a storm. I’m praying you at least know what you’re doing now.

I hope you’re happy; that doesn’t mean in a relationship. You don’t need a partner to be happy, but if you are in a relationship, please, please, please do not waste your time with some obsessive control freak who rips you away from anything or anyone you love. Don’t put your life on hold for anyone. Live, kid.

Make sure you’re taking care of your parents and grandparents. Don’t ever forget how much they supported and loved you through all your attitude and awkward phases. Help them with bills, take them on trips, buy them nice things. If you somehow made it big, don’t forget where you came from; EVER.

Also, don’t forget your self worth. At 15 you’re a mess; you want a flat stomach and thick thighs; small waist and a big butt. I have no clue what you want now, but remember your personality and intentions are always going to be more important than a small waist. Please be healthy, but don’t worry about what healthy looks like. Feel good and believe that it looks good in whatever form it takes. Love yourself, please.

I hope your irritable migraines are under control, I hope your neck and back pain have subsided. Try yoga; get more exercise you bum! Cut back on that caffeine. As good as coffee is, it’s doing you more bad than good. Try decaf.

I hope you’re still investing in animal welfare. Just know that the kid version of you hates you right now if you’ve given up on animals. Those guys don’t deserve all the crap they take, all the unnecessary abuse and neglect. GO DO SOMETHING NIAH! Stop hiding behind a computer; go outside, get in someone’s face, and for goodness sake, be the difference you’re always complaining you haven’t seen yet.

I hope you wait to have kids until after you’ve traveled and your career has taken off. Don’t bring life into this world until you know you can stably provide for them. But, if you failed to wait, you better find a job, get up, and love and care for those kids. They are now you’re first priorities, and whether you intended to create the beating hearts or not, they are yours, they are living, and they mean just as much as any other being. Love them, They’re yours. They come first.

Niah…15 year old you gets too attached to people, to materials, to anything at all she’s dared once loved. You have to let go. If someone is hurting you mentally, physically, or even emotionally, let go. No one person on Earth has the right to your love if they can’t treat you with respect. If they’re hurting you, they DO NOT LOVE YOU. You’re a sucker for Romeo’s lines in Shakespeare’s classic, but even the helpless romantic you were at 15 knows that Romeo and Juliet had an unhealthy love. I hope you get wiser with age and become rich with experience, because you mustn’t forget what’s important, that the world is much bigger than your struggle, and that you are held responsible for your own actions.

Dear Future Self, don’t screw this up.

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